Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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