I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
