Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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