How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
