i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize