I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
If I had your ass I would rule the world
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
