I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
