And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I need a beard to bite.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
