I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
