I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize