i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Dicks are not precious.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
