Ambien. No doubt about it.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
