I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
