I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize