from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
