Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
