My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
