i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
