No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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