What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
