I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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