We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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