Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
