I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
