then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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