The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
