She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
