THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
