so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
