I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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