So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Four minutes until I can fart!
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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