No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
