I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so explain again why im purple
no
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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