So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize