My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
