i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
