Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
