I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize