My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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