found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
