I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
