I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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