were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
