I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
