Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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