that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
