He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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