OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
honey bunches of taint.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
