Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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