I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
