he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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