how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
