i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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