im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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