One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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