This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
