There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
