it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
