i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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