Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize