We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
