Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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