A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
