Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize