I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
