I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
