She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
