did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
