The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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