I like my sex mixed with concussions.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Be still, my beating vagina.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
