TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
