talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
