She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
