i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
there was a trapeze. enough said
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
