idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
My vagina just recognized that song.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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