I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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