yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
